Pubic Lice Treatment
Summary: Having a case of public lice is no laughing matter. Resolving the problem with a prescribed public lice treatment is quick and painless. It's embarrassing, for sure, but it needs to be taken care of to stop the spread of the lice.
Some louse gives you the crabs, you complain and they say, "Why are you always nitpicking?" Jokes aside, pubic lice are no joking matter.
Pubic lice, named crabs because of how they look under a microscope, don't come from public toilets. They don't fly, jump or hop, either. Ninety-nine percent of the time pubic lice come from sexual intercourse with an infested person. Once in a blue moon lice are transferred through infested bedding and there are cases of women who have been infested from trying on bathing suits in clothing stores. Sounds like an urban legend, but this information is available from many respected organizations including the National Institute of Health (NIH).
Worldwide, close to twelve million people get pubic lice each year. Statistics show pubic lice is diagnosed more often in women (perhaps those dangerous bathing-suit shopping sprees) than in men and both sexes can spread lice to all of their sexual partners. That means one man can infest 10 women if he's a lice-laden Lothario, and the Homecoming Queen can give you a royal pain and it's not in the neck.
You'll know you have lice if you wake up in the night and feel like dozens of uninvited parasites have taken residence in your nether region and are sucking your blood dry. That's because it will be the truth. The itch to mate will be surpassed by the itch in your "mating" area. Until you decide to do something about the "lousy" situation you find yourself in, you will have to live with your hand in your drawers frantically scratching or until co-workers have you arrested for obscene pubic behavior.
Treatments for a pubic lice infestation are medicated creams or a Manzilion or Brazilian wax job. (Actually the feeding-lice bury themselves in the hair follicles to drink blood, so even a shave won't fix the problem.) Trying to comb out the individual nits (lice eggs) would definitely be trying, but wouldn't work.
No matter what your friends tell you, do not try to scald the lice as you will burn your skin. Do not put gasoline or kerosene on your "bits and pieces" as these highly volatile gases can become explosive. Don't choose infestation over shame. Go for the shame. Hang your head, look distraught and hand the pharmacist a note if you have to. They'll know what product to recommend. Get it and immediately put the cream upon the crop of parasites and wait for the itching to stop.
While waiting for the cream to work, you have some work to do. Put your bedding, nightwear, mattress cover and pillow covers - anything you sleep with, including your teddy bear - into super hot water and laundry soap and double wash it
If you have lice in your chest hair, (mostly talking to men now) they could be pubic lice traveling north on vacation or garden variety body lice. Body lice are bigger than pubic lice and easy to see as compared to their tiny sexually oriented cousins. Most pubic lice creams will take care of both the body and the bootie lice.
Yes Virgil or Virginia, you can get the cooties - and if you do, proper treatment will have you cootie-free in a snap. It is imperative, however, that you remember how you got these biting buggers in the first place. Stay away from the generous and amorous soul who gave them to you, and remain celibate until you can celebrate the fact you've lost your last louse.